How do adventurers of Sintel! I'm the new columnist for the Sintel Star, Paris Badwanger. My family Calls me Parry, me Pa calls me his little rock petal.
As you can tell from me hair, I'm a Dwarf. But I'm no ordinary dwarf, oh no! I'm a fashion concious proper Traldan, first wannabe popstar of Ithron!
You can tell fromt he way I wear me robes that I've got a dwarf load of style, this seasons colours are blue and orange for those who don't know, and I'm out there in Sintel and other places, keepin an eye out for anyone doing what they shouldnt be, and dressing like an elf.
Beware all you criminals, if you get yourself caught doin somthing illegal don't expect me to be as kind as some of them other Traldans, I ain't gonna raise money for ya. You should either not do owt illegal, or by the grace of Tralda don't get caught!
Yeh... I'm lookin at you Missis Kharachian gobby bugger. Can't keep your mouth shut in court, then don't go. Its ILLEGAL to go mouthing off! so don't do it!
Anyway. as I was sayin, I'm proper up on the fashions of Ithron. In me column I'll talk about who's hot and who definitely aint. And believe me, there's pleanty around that definitely aint hot.
Like them elves wot jumped down fromt he trees and attacked us.